Want a degree? First change your politics

In the future university places could be for party members only. That's the implication of the experiences of Conservative Commentary supremo and recent A Level candidate, Peter Cuthbertson. In addition to his 3 proper A Levels, Cuthbertson decided to take namby-pamby "General Studies" but when he got his marks he was shocked to discover that he had been marked down for supporting private schools and opposing multi-culturalism. He said: "Now I do not care about my General Studies marks. I got offers from five colleges in the last year, all of them excluding it from the list of subjects the grades in which they were interested. But it does seem awfully strange that I can get such different grades for filling in similar papers in the same way. If these tests are really vetting for political views, it is a disgrace, and I have to wonder what the markers of the second and third papers were thinking."

In the Soviet Union all university students had to take a compulsory course in Marxism-Leninism.